Relationship questions

I wrote these questions sometime in freshman year of college. I was thinking about what it meant to have a real relationship, and somehow I can pinpoint the problems in all my relationships by looking at these questions.

I I wanted you, would you want me?
Once we were together, would you still act the same?
When I needed to be loved, would you love me?
If I were alone, would you seek me out?
If I were in danger, would you protect me?
If I were crying, would you comfort me?
If I were cold, would you keep me warm?
When I called, would you answer?
If I were sick, would you care for me?
When I needed a kiss, would you satisfy me?
No matter the outcome, would you do what was best for me?
If you had feelings for someone else, would you act on them?
If something were wrong, would you tell me?
If something were wrong, would you work to make it right?
Through it all, would you be my best friend?

Paradox

I wrote this in approximately Fall 2001. While not my best work, it continues to hold truth for me.

I want to see
but not what hurts
I want to know
as long as it's good
I want to learn
as long as it's not too hard
I want to work
but not if it's too much effort
I want to strive
as long as I achieve
I want you
if you love me
I want to give
but it's hard not to receive
I want happiness
but I know that comes with time
I want to grow
but I know that means trials
I want to wish
but I want it to come true
I want power
but I fear responsibility

Tradition

A working draft, 2/17/09

Cooking with
fresh herbs from our garden-
vegetables that we tended
together.
Laundry, bills
(responsibilities of growing up).
But you still come home
and kiss me.
We're making plans.
Jobs, trips, family.
Something I wasn't sure
I'd ever do.
Yet now my victories, my losses,
and yours,
wouldn't feel right
without a me and you.

Composting article

I wrote an article on composting for Worldchanging Seattle.

It's great to have another freelance piece out in the world!

A New Space

June 30, 2008

I moved my things -
and my heart -
into a new space
(a familiar, but more comfortable one).

I found your expectations in a box of books,
your hopes mixed in among my pots and pans.
How did your kisses find their way into my bedsheets?

Confused (but pleased) I evaluate the cracks in the paint,
accepting the beauty of each imperfection.
This house and I understand each other.

Perhaps you were here all along?

to be content with you

June 30, 2008

quiet, calm
balmy night air through the screen door
sunset, light purple, pink, blue
perfume of summer flowers
sprawled out like childhood friends
or lovers
sharing secrets, nothing, everything
the moment
it's hard to imagine being happier

Poetry response

Inspiration poem:

Why it was love - Catherine Randall Craft

Three times crying in your arms -
span of twenty-four hours

began to wonder if my tears
could really be caused and
comforted by the same thing

space between us
didn't matter, felt the
soft thud of your heartbeat
next to mine all the same

and I turned my head into
your hand
so my tears found their way
down creases in your palm's skin -
folds of past and future -
wet salty fingertips held so close to my eyes

then being suddenly drawn closer
so my face and your touched -
I love you
into your shoulder and
into my ear
your cheek left stained with saline from mine -

if I begin to apologize, you kiss my stomach

and speak of my responsibility
in maintaining your sanity -
in my mind I interrupt you
with I love you -


My response:

By Jacqueline White
September 4, 2001

You walk up to me.
You look in my eyes and see right through this façade.
The word “Hello” escapes your lips.
A simple “Hi” slips from mine.

I wonder what’s happened to us.
I worry about what will come.
Fears of change, the challenge of rebuilding, faith in love.

My mind races –
kiss me and make it all better,
hold me and tell me it will be okay.
You drop your bag and wrap your arms around me –
you always knew.

I close my eyes and breathe in
your scent, your memory, my own longing.

You pull away;
I let you go as I did before.
Our silent conversation is reassurance.

Gingerly you take my hand.
We stand in the midst of a conflict
between past and future, but,
at least for now,

we face it together.